Over the past few weeks, I have been a bit ashamed to admit it out loud, when I know I shouldn’t be. the pregnancy blues are a perfectly normal thing to experience, but I just feel slight failure and disappointment.
You see, being pregnant is a marvellous experience for the most part, and there are so many wonderful women around the world who don’t even get the chance to experience it. So what right does a 28 week long pregnant woman have to complain about her situation of emotion? Well, to be honest, she gets every right.
I have experienced the odd occasion of feeling a bit bluesy, maybe even a little depressed and down beaten. It won’t be that I feel sad necessarily, but there is a sort of sad atmosphere going on inside of my head that I just cannot shake. I go through these periods of time frequently throughout my life, but the past 5 months have been nothing short of perfect and blissful.
So why is it that nowadays, 6 months pregnant, I find myself standing in the shower in the morning with no song to sing and just staring blankly at the corner of the tiles on the wall opposite me without a thought, or shred of emotion on my face? Is it normal to feel slightly… numb inside? Is the feeling multiplied by my intense hormonal mood swings? Perhaps! That could explain why I have those days where every little thing makes me blubber like a baby when I don’t even feel a tickle of sadness or upset, or anything really. Is it normal to feel slightly… numb inside?
The answer is yes. I would put it down to antenatal depression, but the thing is, this feeling is not a stranger to me. I have experienced this exact sense of “ennui” before, many times. But its nothing to worry about because everytime I experience it, it goes away overtime and I realise that it is only temporary.
Still, though, I feel slightly guilty over the fact that I feel this way when I am carrying a miracle within me. I am filled up with 2 hearts beating away contently and sharing these beautiful “bump and me” moments. I am truly so so happy but I am just going through a bit of a rut, and that’s perfectly normal! I think adding the pressure of remaining positive and happy for everyone can be a bit too much and I think this makes the situation worse.
Overcoming the Pregnancy Blues by…
It seems like one of those things that everyone tells people to do, and it can make us question if it really has any weight of truth, but it does. Eating healthier, cleaner and greener meals and snacks can actually help our mentality! I found that by cutting out some of the crappier foods I was consuming from cravings, I regained a sense of control and felt better with less guilt. It also helps me to think that I am giving my baby the best start to life with much needed proteins and legumes!
I know, I know… Exercising while you are pregnant is a bit of a difficult one. In my opinion and in my experience, its not sensible to do anything too intense, ie jogging as it takes too long to recover for me. I decided recently that I am getting back into swimming. Apparently swimming is a great, gentle way of exercising aching muscles and your weightlessness in the water can actually help to alleviate some of the pains. We got to stay fit and healthy some way! Exercising releases those endorphins that swim around your body. I always refer to endorphins as little dolphins of hope as I can just imagine them swimming about, flipping and spinning happily within your body and it automatically makes me feel happier. By doing some gentle exercise for about 30 minutes 3 times a week, you will be doing yourself a kindness!
Stop putting pressure on yourself
Its all too easy for pregnant ladies to feel guilty for complaining about our qualms. Over the past few weeks I have really noticed this being the reality for me, but it hit me that I shouldn’t! Growing a baby is hard work, and I think its a miracle that we can get through it, especially when aches and pains can get a bit too overbearing sometimes. We have earned the right to have a little whine every now and then. Read my thoughts on this matter by clicking here. By adding additional pressure to yourself, you are making things worse mentally. You are bottling up the weird unexplainable emotions that you are experiencing and that really is no way to feel better. Accept the fact that you are feeling low, but don’t let it become you!
Know that it will all be worth it- write down your worries about the baby coming
Some nights when I was growing up, I would remain awake in bed for hours upon hours worrying about things that were outwith my control… school… friends… family… just the usual things that everyone worries about. For some reason these worries would remain at the front of my mind for hours upon hours and I would get no relief whatsoever until I got them down on paper. I know that not all people work the same way, but for me, writing my woes down helps me to express them, which relieves some of the frustration pent up in my mind.
With pregnancy, comes worry, comes anxiety and panic sometimes. We just have to find a way to deal with it so it doesn’t ride its way throughout the 9 months. What are your fears or worries about having your baby? The room available? The fact that your life going to change drastically? Being able to afford life? Note down your worries. Sometimes just getting them out on paper can help you realise that these issues are fixable if you give it some logical thought. Writing them down turns the tidal waves of worry into small, manageable and hoppable waves that you can overcome.
Speak to someone
If your thoughts are overburdening your mind to the point you can notice yourself getting quieter and quieter with those you love, maybe you can’t smile as much as you did during the first trimester, or you might find yourself becoming less excited for the little bundle of joy to join you in your journey through life. These are all perfectly normal feelings that pregnant women experience and its extremely okay to talk about without feeling judged. Avoid those who may judge you about these things and talk it over with your midwife, your partner, your parents, your siblings, your friends, heck… talk to me about them if you need an ear! Sometimes you just need to hear someone saying out loud that you aren’t going crazy, that the thoughts you are having are perfectly normal. Without sounding ridiculously corny, a problem shared is a problem halved and once I speak about the issues I experience, with my wonderful partner or family, I always feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Other parents will know exactly how you feel usually and might even be able to offer a bit of hope for you with their advice- afterall, they have been through it all before.
Take care of yourself
This tip is one of the most important in my book. How are you ever going to start feeling happier if you are abandoning yourself? When the baby comes, you are not going to get much time to yourself, so enjoy it while you can. Enjoy the last few months that you will have before your baby arrive and take yourself out for a hair cut, or get your nails done… even better, spring out some cash and get a foot massage! If you are on a budget, treat yourself to a facial, a hot bubble bath, or purchase a lush bath bomb or massage bar and luxuriate yourself. This time is wonderful and its yours. Do with it what you want and enjoy it. You will feel better, more positive and happier soon. I promise!